My husband bought me a Cricut Expression machine last September and I have been obsessed with it and cartridges ever since then. (And yes, our wallet has suffered becuase of it LOL). The machine is so freakin awesome for scrapbooking and card making but I had never tried to make an iron on transfer with it. I had seen the infomercial countless times where they make the quilt and have always thought it would be neat to do it so today while I was at Walmart I thought, "What the heck?". I bought no-sew adhesive liner and a yard of leopard print fabric,(it was only a buck!)got home, applied the fabric to the adhesive and cut a heart with my Cricut. I then adhered it to my daughter's white onesie and just FELL IN LOVE. How could I have never done this before?!? LOL. It might not be the greatest creation ever but I am so proud of it!
It feels really cool to make something as simple as a shirt because I didn't think I could do it. And it got me to thinking of how many years I have spent underestimating myself. I went through high school thinking I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, tall enough, athletic enough, or even funny enough. I never really tried to succeed in Math because I just knew I would fail.And I did.Everyone around me was better than me and I just knew that everyone felt the same. I know my mother did. She never failed to remind me how I wasn't skinny enough.I think when you are in such a sad state of mind you tend to "settle" for whatever comes your way.
I have always thought I had a "positive" attitude towards life until last night when my husband said something that I will never forget. I was in deep frustration because my son Jacob was running a 103.5 fever and I had no car. Everyone was at work and I had my hands tied behind my back until my father and Chris came home at 7pm. Throughout all this chaos of rushing out the door with my sick child, I had forgotten that I had made my very first batch of homemade enchiladas and that they were in the oven. I get a text message from my husband an hour later telling me that "Dinner was yummy!" I, of course, take that text as his laughing at me and quickly respond "Are you lying to me?". This goes on for a few texts until he sends me "Stop underestimating yourself. I loved the food." I looked down at the phone and just stared. I was so use to always being told that I was never good enough that I couldn't even take a compliment. I started to get teary eyed because it just brought me back to all of my memories as a child and young adult and realized that I dont try a lot of things because I always assume i'm going to fail. I always excused my lack of cooking knowledge to the fact that I was a daddy's girl and never had to learn. The real reason why I never tried to cook was because I was afraid my husband and children would hate everything I make. Well, guess what? Last week I made my first baked flan and it came out PERFECT. That bacon that I was so afraid I would burn? Jacob now requests atleast 7 pieces each time. That chicken wrap that I made a week ago? Tastes as if I would have purchased it at McDonalds. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but it is nice knowing i'm not a complete failure. I can cook! And clean, workout, finish homework AND potty train! Maybe i'm not as bad as a mother and wife as I thought and maybe, just maybe, I CAN pass my upcoming Math class on my own! ;)